Forgiveness.....what is it?

This is something I feel I will expand upon sometime. I have a story. This story is unpleasant at times and has lead me to mentally decapitating several individuals in the wee small hours prior to sleep. 

 I can see that there are a lot of feelings and hurt there and a desire to get even-whatever that means.... so what is going on ?

 I am torturing myself I am not relaxing and enjoying the present moment; thankfully sans alcoohol. 

 Ok so things happened. i get that. why do I feel hurt? I feel hurt because I expected other people to behave differently towards me.  I can see that this is unhelpful thinking... 

 People act the way they do because they can. Do I have any right to control what other people think,say or do? to me Yes I do have the right -when my health welfare and life are threatened. I have the right to protect myself physically, mentally and spiritually. 

 Why do people behave the way they do? Because this is what they do. I only have the right to attempt to change their behavior if I am threatened. 

 Why do I feel threatened.? because  have not been able to process the concepts of boundaries.......

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